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This flash fiction is part of a series called Twisted Family Bonds (follow the link to read from the beginning). It is light and dark humor written in the soap opera episodic style about the happenings in the Kaszinov family, who live on a family compound in the Hungarian countryside near Budapest. Russian mafia members have family lives, too, they just behave a little differently, or do they?

Previously in Twisted Family Bonds (pt.4)…Inna, the Hungarian Child Welfare worker held her first Mothers And Fathers Impaired Attachment (MAFIA) rehab support group. Unfortunately, she also also court-ordered attendance by members of Rudolf Zabrovsky’s Family, Viktor Kaszinov’s fiercest rival. Gun fire and fighting landed several members from both families in the hospital. Viktor awoke in the hospital to see that he was placed in the same room as Rudolf.


Episode 5 of 6: Two Bosses in Bed

Kaszinov Family Crest

Day 1

Viktor looked at Rudolf in the next hospital bed laying vulnerably asleep. His leg was in a cast up to the hip and one arm was in a cast.  Viktor wasn’t doing much better with a cast on one leg and his ribs wrapped.  He envisioned what he could do with this great opportunity to finally “take care of” Rudolf Zabrosky. As he attempted to take a deep breath to sit up, excruciating pain stopped him and he succumbed to the heavy medication, blacking out once again.

Beep…beep…beep, the heart monitors sounded like ticking bombs quietly biding their time.

Day 2

“You…Son…of…a…” Viktor managed to reach for his water pitcher and threw it as hard as he could at Rudolf.  But, it hit his cast. Throughout the day, Viktor and Rudolf became more conscious.  By evening, the nurses were arguing over who would answer the call buttons and stop the yelling erupting from Viktor and Rudolf’s room. They flinched with every crash of the bedpan and river of obscenity.

Day 3

The indignities of hospital life were too much for Viktor and Rudolf: Needles, IV bags, monitors, bed pans, water glasses, food on trays all become their new weapons of choice.

“I outta  put you on Ice!” Viktor yelled and picked up his carton of milk to throw at Rudolf.

“Oh yeah, well I heard about your Ice, and I think it is a bunch of CRAP!” Rudolf threatened his carton of milk in return.

“Hah! You have no idea what you are talking about.  I’ll bet Ice could even break us out of here. Then you will see. You will be begging me for the stuff!” Viktor wanted to prove once and for all that he was the king of the Hungarian territory. It would be a long time before Rudolf would mess with his family again if he could make him dependent on Ice.

“Well…IF you can prove it to me, then I may listen.” Rudolf was thawing a little towards Viktor. He was curious to find out what Viktor was up to.

Day 4

“Sponge bath time.” Nurse Cratchet and nurse Crimshaw came strutting in to their room with four male assistants. The staff had initiated new procedures for dealing with the two mafia bosses since no rooms were vacant.

“Well aren’t you the big man, I see you have more tatoos since I saw you last.” Rudolf said to Viktor as they both sat half naked getting scrubbed by the nurses. They were reading each others’ lives through their tattoos, which were required in the Russian mafia for any big conquest or event.

“I didn’t know you were in prison lately, what were you in for?” Viktor could see the tattoo denoting a prison stay peaking out of Rudolf’s cast.

“You should know, you asshole!” Rudolf grimaced as the nurse scrubbed him harder.

“Oh yeah.” Viktor smirked.

Day 5

Mama called the doctor, the doctor said…
No more mobsters jumpin’ on the bed!

Viktor awoke to giggles and screams of little creatures jumping on his bed. Each jump a reason to scream with pain. “Get those monsters off my bed!”

Alena, Viktor’s wife and their daughter Tasha arrived with a few of the grandchildren. “Here are your provisions.” She hoisted a huge black bag onto the bed.

“Ah, now this is more like it.” Viktor pulled out vodka and put it in his bedside table for later.  He opened a box of cigars and threw one to Rudolf.

“Mama, you shouldn’t have done that. ” Tasha said as they walked out the door.

Tasha was loading the kids into the Escalade shaking her head in disgust. She could hear the fire alarms going off inside the hospital.

Day 7

Laszlo came to the hospital, as ordered, and on his arm was Tasha.  Viktor raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say a word. Inside he was smiling about the possibilities. There was hope of getting out of this child welfare mess, yet.

“Tasha, could you get me some decent food, I just can’t take this slop anymore.”

“Okay Papa, you boys behave while I am gone.” Tasha grabbed her purse and headed out the door throwing a smile at Laszlo.

“Laszlo, I have a job for you…”

“Shouldn’t we talk…privately?” Laszlo glanced towards Rudolf.

“No, it’s alright, this is what I want you to do…” Viktor leaned in and told the two men of his grand plans before Tasha returned.  “You think you can get it all done in three days?”

“Sure boss, no problem.” A smile crept across Laszlo’s face.

Day 10

“Get up old man! We’re breakin’ outta here today!”  Viktor smiled as he looked at the clock.

The Boys arrived promptly at ten o’clock in the morning to lift Viktor in his wheelchair. Rudolf was loaded by his sons and they waited in silence.

Laszlo burst into the room with a big smile. “It’s all ready!”

At exactly 10:30, they heard a strange whooshing sound that lasted about 30 seconds, then stopped. “Let’s go!” Laszlo motioned to the door.

“Here you will see how we were able to put everyone on Ice. The doctors, nurses, aids, and patients have been showered with Ice through the sprinkler system. I disabled the alarms so we could leave quietly.” Laszlo gave Rudolf and his sons the presentation of his work during their quick retreat out of the hospital.

“I gotta admit, that’s not bad.” Rudolf examined the slumped bodies as he was wheeled out of the hospital. “Viktor, maybe we can talk later?”

“Maybe.” Viktor wanted to keep Rudolf dangling by his string.


Viktor was relieved to make it home to his Family compound, safe within the walls of his own security.  “Get me into the living room, I need a drink!”  The Boys helped him into the house. He was pushed into the living room just in time to hear Inna presenting the findings of her evaluation. “Oh good, your here just in time…”

“BAH!” Viktor growled at his failed attempt to escape from the child welfare madness.