Today (Monday) is the final day for 21.5.800 with which translates into five days of yoga each week and 800 words of writing per day for 21 days.

The twenty-one days seemed to fly by very quickly for me, but as I look back at my life when I began this challenge, I realize there have been substantial changes. I managed to write 800 words on most days (a few were just not possible) and I did practice yoga (some days just the corpse pose) 5 days a week.

Week one was a blissful time of uplifting energy to start the new challenge, even though by the end of that week my body was feeling it with creaks and moans in my body.

Week two was unbelievably chaotic in my own life and the lives of those close to me. It seemed that everything was happening at once. Even family members I had not heard from for a long time were calling to tell me about loved ones in their lives going through brain tumor surgery, terminal cancer, personal problems, chronic pain episodes, job losses and other unexpected occurrence in their lives.

In the midst of their startling news, I was going through something I couldn’t identify. My anxiety was rising, pain increasing and I could feel resistance to something building up. It become difficult to write and do yoga, but I persevered the best I could. It took more rest time and corpse pose to get through this week.

Week three was the unraveling of all that I went through in week two. I had to do the hard work of getting a hold of my mind and figure out where the resistance was coming from.

Was I experiencing fear and worry over all the uncertainty expressed by others?

Yes. But it was more than that.

I had a major life decision to make and I didn’t realize it. I have been frustrated for months trying to do all the paperwork to join a group therapy practice.  The approvals from a few insurance companies had been mysteriously delayed as I sit and wait to start work. I thought I had my work situation figured out, but I needed to take it one step further.

Every opportunity to get back into the work world over the last few months has taken me into deep contemplation about where I am headed with my life. I LOVE my writing life (including my online life) that I have cultivated and grown since last year. I didn’t want my work life to diminish that, so I needed to find a balance to honor my creative life and still make a living.

The Decision

I have been terrified for years to take my professional life into my own hands. As much as I have wanted to and wished for it, I didn’t think I could make it on my own. I know marketing and have worked in the field, but I have never trusted that marketing my own stuff would be effective to generate an income.

I also don’t like the idea of marketing my own things, it feels yucky somehow. I am turned off by much of what I see (and we all experience) with some of the online marketing. But, I now think I can do it authentically and in line with what I am already doing, without being obvious or obnoxious. I now believe that people will come and be helped by what I have to offer if I am just myself and available.

So, I will be developing my business partially online (even though I swore I never would when I began my website) and partially in the real world, but all on my own terms.

As writers, we all have to struggle with how to make a living in the midst of our creative life. I have wrestled with this challenge and I’m sure many of you have too. I don’t want to compromise my creative goals, so I need to find as much work and as many ways as possible to generate income that are seamlessly a part of my creative process. For me, this means providing something of value to other people who prioritize their creative lives as much as I do.

Gratitude for Yoga

I think the yoga portion of this challenge engaged my intuition on a deeper level, encouraged me get out of my head and helped me digest negative thoughts in my body that were stuck. Beginning yoga practice at this time has freed up my energy and moved my life in the direction I needed to go, but just couldn’t, until now. And, I realize that I cannot take long breaks from my yoga practice, it is too important for my mental and emotional health, as well as my physical health.

Bindu, Thanks for providing this challenge and the opportunity to boost our writing and health.

Thanks for the entire 21.5.800 community (now over 500 strong) for support, connections and a collective consciousness that helped so many of us make needed change during this challenge.